Misunderstanding and how it affects our behavior-reaction-relationship...

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This week's discussion topic: Misunderstanding and how it affects our behavior/reaction/relationship...
7.28.2014
Level: Intermediate (B1) and above

A Hi LanguageTiesers! I guess this is a nice topic and it helps us know ourselves better... So as always we'll begin by defining the word misunderstanding. Go on and tell us what it means in your own words.
July 28 at 6:08am ·

B: Well. I guess everyone of us judges the world and its people by the way we understand them. and since everyone has a different attitude towards the world, sometimes these differences cause misunderstanding. We think we know what the other person means, but we only understand the subject from our own perspective , not theirs. That's what misunderstanding means in my opinion.
July 28 at 12:21pm ·  · 1

B: Thnx B, we need a few more participants before we move on to the next question...
July 28 at 1:54pm ·  · 1

A: Thank you C. The last sentence was awesome: "the folded parts cannot be unfolded by themselves"
July 28 at 2:09pm ·  · 2

A: Thank you B and C for the answers. The second question is: When was the last time that a misunderstanding caused a problem in your relationship with a friend? What happened?
July 30 at 12:36am ·

A: Depends on the words!
July 30 at 8:47am ·  · 1

B: The last time was a few days ago. My home-mate and I were taking care of some chores and I was pretty angry about a problem I had with my father. So my accent was a bit rough. Besides my mind was totally somewhere else and a few times I didn't hear what she was telling me. So she thought I was blaming her for not doing the chores as much as I did. and We had an argument.... But After I felt a little better, I explained everything for her and the problem was solved.
July 30 at 12:02pm · Un · 1

A: C, I guess your presupposition by saying "Words are the source of misunderstandings" is the fact that sharing such an anecdote is not fruitful. Am I right?
July 30 at 1:37pm ·

A: My story: A few weeks ago a good friend of mine stopped her cooperation because I told her to temporarily do another task and continue the previous one when a list of topics is ready. I told her that creating the list is not an easy task and it should be done by an expert. Well I guess I didn't exactly convey what I had in mind. She was doing this for almost two weeks and she thought that I wanted her to completely abandon the job. We later talked on the phone and I told her what I actually meant but it was too late. She has already made her decision. She did give me some other reasons too but the actual thing which made her mad was the way I uttered the sentences.
July 30 at 1:52pm ·  · 1

E  Mine;A friend of mine was talking to me I just looked away for some moments.She thought I hadn't been listening to her and got upset!
July 31 at 6:26am ·  · 2

E prefect i love these topic
July 31 at 2:46pm ·  · 2

B: has anyone ever misunderstood you E?
July 31 at 5:18pm ·  · 1

B:  We're talking about misunderstanding. Do you know what it means?
July 31 at 5:24pm ·  · 2

A: Next question: How can one avoid misunderstandings? C
August 1 at 2:54am ·  · 1

A: Newcomers: please feel free to join us in this discussion. Reading the thread from the beginning will put you in the picture
August 1 at 2:58am ·

A: E, B, C, D
August 1 at 2:59am ·

D  when an extraordinarily event happened to you, after that you will have a series of misunderstanding beyond others, everyone thinks that exactly feels your situation and this will lead to misunderstanding
August 1 at 11:48am ·  · 1

A: I haven't grasped what you meant D, would you clarify your point?
August 1 at 11:55am ·  · 2

D  I have explained one of misunderstanding's situation, I mean when an event happened to you, every other people judge you in their minds, and think they know what have been to you, but in fact nobody knows your situation, and you're just among people who misunderstand you
August 1 at 1:29pm ·  · 1

E  hi any one has happened misunderstanding in some situation situation... if someone refers or pay attention it will be a sickness ... if not if someone had positive mind she will have best life without misunderstanding
August 1 at 7:09pm ·  · 1

B: I think there's no way to avoid misunderstanding. But you have to be smart enough to realize when it happen and try to solve it, instead of taking it personal and hurting your closest friends or family. I think the cause of most problems in relationships is based on misunderstanding. and the solution is expressing your true feeling without insulting each other and talk about what actually bothers you to help the other person clarify it for you.
August 1 at 8:24pm ·  · 2

A: D, C, E and B, Thanks
August 2 at 9:57am ·  · 2

A: The folded parts, the damn folded parts! The untold words...!!!
August 2 at 9:59am ·

A: Next questions: How are misunderstanding and trust related? Is it related to person's insight? How?
August 2 at 10:02am ·

B: Misunderstanding usually happens when people don't know each other very well. So they feel insecure around each other and might offend one another unwillingly. But as people become friends and begin to trust one another, misunderstandings might reduce and it's mostly because each of them is now familiar with the other person's attitude.
August 2 at 5:42pm ·  · 2

B:  Speaking of insight, I guess the more expanded someone's insight gets, the less misunderstanding they will have with other people. One with a wide insight can tolerate and accept more different points of views and therefore they cause less misunderstanding.
August 2 at 5:49pm ·  · 2

A: Thanks B. nicely put  And C, we could have a whole new discussion on your last question  Thanks for your insightful post!
August 3 at 5:59am ·

A: You two have said most of what I had in mind. The re-trusting is a different issue and we can later talk about it (I  to). What I can add here is sth very important. This is actually what I've learned over years. Eight years ago when I was doing my BA in TEFL, I've learned about writing and the things that you have to bear in mind while you're writing. (I guess the book was Douglas Brown's Teaching by principles) One important thing was to consider your reader as a person who knows nothing! (I was trying to be polite) So, what you have to do is to be as transparent and informative as possible...
August 3 at 6:46am ·  ·  · 2

A: So is the case when you're talking! Sometimes my father asks me to do sth for him but he gives me a little information as if I'm totally reading his mind! Or.. I'm omniscient or sth! Wrap-up: Guys, be as transparent and informative as possible when you're communicating!
August 3 at 6:58am ·  ·  · 2

A: Some say Sunday is the the first day of the week, some say Monday (There's this controversy among Olama  ) Any way, I guess it's high time we changed the topic
August 3 at 7:06am ·  · 2

A: And thank YOU for sharing
August 3 at 6:38pm ·  · 1